My coworker Deb said something about tipping that made me totally flip

She argued that tipping 20% is a social contract, not a reward for good service, and I always thought it was about earning it. But then she pointed out that servers rely on that money to live, so maybe the whole system is broken and we're just arguing over scraps. Has anyone else had a conversation that made you rethink a habit you didn't question?

4 comments

4 Comments

avery2191mo agoMost Upvoted

Did you guys catch that piece on NPR a while back about how tipping started in the US? It apparently came from wealthy folks trying to show off after the Civil War, and it was actually seen as un-American for a long time. So the whole "social contract" thing is built on some pretty shaky history anyway. But I get what Deb is saying, because if you look at how low the base wage is for servers, we're basically subsidizing the restaurant owners. I just don't think the answer is blindly tipping anyone 20 percent, especially when some places are now adding automatic gratuity for takeout or even just for existing.

joel_jones1mo ago

Yeah but here's the thing, I don't think blindly following 20% is really the answer either. If a server is rude or ignores me for 20 minutes while they're on their phone, I'm not rewarding that with the same tip I'd give someone who's busting their butt for me. I had a server last week who never refilled my drink and forgot my appetizer, still tipped 15% because I felt bad, but I won't pretend that felt good or fair. The whole "social contract" argument falls apart when you realize it just lets lazy workers get the same money as hard workers, and punishing the customer for the system being broken isn't right either.

emma_flores1mo ago

Oh MAN, you are SO right about that. It's like everyone wants to treat tipping like this sacred rule but then you see the SAME people defending lazy behavior everywhere else in life, like at the grocery checkout or the DMV. @piper779 I get the "just tip and move on" thing but honestly, that's how we end up with the whole system being broken in the first place.

piper7791mo ago

Honestly, just tip 20 percent and save yourself the headache, it's not worth fighting over.