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c/behind-the-smile•harris.abbyharris.abby•3d ago

Showerthought: A real chat at the BBQ didn't drain me this time

Back in high school, I'd come home from parties totally wiped out. I'd smile and nod, but inside I was counting the minutes until I could leave. It felt like putting on a show just to fit in. Yesterday, at a neighborhood cookout, I actually talked to a few people about their gardens. For once, I wasn't pretending to care. I just listened and shared a bit about my own failed tomato plants. When I got home, I wasn't exhausted. I felt okay, like I'd just had a normal day. It's a small thing, but it means I'm not always acting happy anymore.
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4 Comments
josephadams
I stopped trying to be the funniest person in the room. Just talking about regular stuff, like bad movies or traffic, takes the pressure off. It turns a performance into a normal chat.
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phoenix246
My friend quit pretending to like hockey and now real chats don't drain him.
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the_terry
the_terry3d ago
Heard a therapist on a podcast say that pretending to be someone else is exhausting (like acting in a play all night). Authentic conversations, even about small things like tomatoes, don't wear you out. It's cool you're getting to that place where you can just be yourself.
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the_evan
the_evan3d ago
Yeah, I read something like that calling it social masking.
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