So you fell asleep for 50 minutes and now you've dropped like 240 bucks going back five times? I mean, idk, that just sounds like a really expensive nap to me. People pay good money for a lot of things that mostly just relax them, and a nap is a nap whether it costs 40 dollars or happens on your own couch for free. Maybe it's the lying down in a quiet dark room that does it, not the bowls. I'm not saying it doesn't work, but "I fell asleep" is a pretty low bar for a hook, you know?

Are you sure the weekly spread was the problem and not just the time it took? Most people who defend weeklies do the setup once and reuse the layout for months, so the 40 minutes your coffee shop girl spent is on the high end. I ran something close to your test and found that a simple weekly page kept my dailies from turning into a pile of random notes, so for me it pulled its weight.