That moment I realized my 'morning person' spouse was faking it for 12 years

My wife would get up at 5am every day, make coffee, read a book, all chipper. Last week she admitted she's been faking it since we moved to Denver because she thought I'd think she was lazy. How do you tell someone you appreciate the effort but it's okay to sleep in?

3 comments

3 Comments

jade_jenkins1mo ago

Wow @iris927 made me wonder, did she ever mess up the act and have to cover for it?

iris9271mo ago

12 years is a long time to keep up a lie, that's for sure. But I have to gently point out something... you said she thought you would think she was lazy, but you didn't actually say that you would have thought that. Maybe she just built up this idea in her head about what a morning person is supposed to be like, and she's been chasing that fake image for over a decade. That's not really about you, it's about her own pressure to be perfect. You should tell her directly that you love her no matter what time she wakes up, and that her sleeping in wouldn't make her lazy at all. Just be clear that you appreciate the coffee but you'd rather have her well-rested and honest.

wood.eric1mo ago

Yeah I actually remember reading something a while back about how some people develop what they call "morning person syndrome" where they pretend to be early risers because society pushes this idea that successful people wake up at 5am. It's wild how much pressure people put on themselves over something that's mostly genetic. Some people are just naturally night owls and forcing themselves into a morning routine can actually mess with their sleep quality and overall health. Your wife probably saw all those motivational Instagram posts about "the morning grind" and felt like she had to measure up.