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Rant: Why I stopped thinking being early is always a good thing

My buddy Mark called me out at our coffee spot downtown last week. He said I was stressing him out by showing up 20 minutes early to everything, like it makes people feel rushed. I told him I thought it was polite, but he pointed out it actually puts pressure on others to match my timing. Now I aim for 5 minutes early instead of 20, and it's way less awkward for everyone. Has anyone else had a friend call them out on a habit they thought was harmless?
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3 Comments
fiona_west21
Switched from 15 to 5 minutes early myself after my sister pointed out it made her feel like she was running late. Now I just hang out in my car with a podcast if I get there too soon, way less pressure on everyone.
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betty_wells
Oh my gosh, your sister telling you that is such a gift honestly. I had a friend who straight up told me my "15 minutes early" habit was making her feel like she had to rush to match my energy and I felt so bad. Now I do exactly what you described, I'll drive around the block an extra time or just sit in my car scrolling until the clock hits the exact time we agreed on. That podcast trick is solid too, I use it to decompress from work mode before walking in. It takes the edge off for both people, nobody feels rushed and nobody feels like they kept someone waiting.
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gracec16
gracec161mo ago
My sister said my 20-minute early arrivals made her feel judged for being on time.
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