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Shoutout to my sister for calling me out on how I talk about my dad
My sister (30) told me last week that every time I mention our dad I make him sound like a saint. She said 'he wasn't the perfect dad you remember, he just died when you were 9 and you never had to deal with him as an adult.' Ouch. But she was right. I've been holding up this idealized version for 20 years and it made me feel guilty anytime I had normal frustrations with people. Now I'm trying to figure out what parts of my memory are real and what parts I made up. Has anyone else had a sibling wreck a core memory like that?
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avery_ross24d ago
Yeah it's wild how much this can mess with your head. @lewis.finley has a point about people remembering differently but I think there's also this thing where we kind of curate our own history without even noticing. Like I catch myself doing it with old friendships too, you know? Maybe it's just me but I feel like everyone does this soft editing where we smooth over the rough parts to make the story feel nicer. It's not even lying, it's just how we cope.
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lewis.finley24d ago
Skeptical about this being some big revelation. Your sister might have a point but she also might just be projecting her own issues onto your memories. People remember things differently, that's just how brains work. You were 9 when he died, of course you're going to remember him in a certain light. Nobody's asking you to hate the guy just because he wasn't perfect.
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