A teacher told me my stories were too messy and it stuck with me

I was in 4th grade, maybe 10 years old, and we had to write a story about a family trip. I wrote this wild, long thing about going to the Grand Canyon and seeing a bear and getting lost, all in one page. My teacher, Mrs. Ellis, wrote on it, 'Mark, this has good ideas, but it's like a jumbled box of toys. Pick one toy and play with it.' I remember feeling really embarrassed. Now, when I write anything, even just an email at work, I hear that in my head. I stop and think, 'Okay, what's the one main thing here?' before I start typing. It's simple, but it helps me get to the point. Does anyone else have a piece of advice from a teacher that just never left you?

4 comments

4 Comments

wendygrant1mo ago

Totally get that, and @wendy131's "SO WHAT?" is the same kind of useful gut punch.

fiona_west211mo ago

Wait, wasn't that @wendy131's comment?

the_simon13d ago

Remembering my teacher's "needs more sparkle" notes.

wendy1311mo ago

Oh man, that hits home. My high school English teacher wrote "SO WHAT?" in huge red letters at the top of my essay about symbolism in The Great Gatsby. I was so mad then, but now I ask myself that exact question every time I write a report. It forces me to figure out the actual point I'm trying to make. Teachers really do plant these little time bombs in your brain.