I wrote my ex-best friend an apology after 4 years and then threw it in a fire pit in my backyard
Back in 2019 my best friend Kayla asked me to be her maid of honor and I told her I couldn't afford the $600 dress plus the Nashville bachelorette trip, so I just stopped answering her calls. She showed up at my apartment on a Tuesday with a card that had "I would've paid for the dress, I just wanted you there" written inside, and I still didn't go to the wedding. I never mailed the letter I wrote her because I'm a coward, but I read it out loud to my fire pit in March and it felt just as dumb as it sounds. If you were Kayla, would you even want to hear from me now or should I just let it stay dead?
Burning an apology letter in a fire pit is a bold move, very main character energy, except the only audience was some logs and maybe a nosy neighbor. So the letter is gone, the friendship is gone, and Kayla got a front row seat to you ghosting her at the exact moment she needed you most. Real talk though, a card saying she would've paid for the dress is about as clear as it gets that the money was never the issue for her, you were. Four years is a long time, but if you actually want to reach out, skip the handwritten drama and just send a short honest text owning what you did wrong with zero excuses. Worst case she ignores you and you're exactly where you are now, so honestly the fire pit already gave you your answer on how low the stakes are.