Shoutout to my ex-coworker Dana for warning me about that 'closure' talk

She told me last March that sending the apology letter would just reopen wounds and I'd feel worse, not better. I ignored her, mailed it to my old boss in Portland, and for two weeks I checked my phone every hour. The reply finally came: 'Thanks, but this is too little too late.' Has anyone else gotten that gut-punch reply and wished they'd listened to the friend who knew better?

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the_lee20d agoMost Upvoted

Funny how the apology letter thing is basically a trap. You think you're being mature, but really you're just asking for permission to move on, and the other person gets to decide. Dana saw that clear as day. The boss's reply wasn't about the letter at all, it was about power. That "too little too late" line is just them reminding you who's still in charge of your feelings. Sometimes not sending it is the real closure, because you stop waiting for someone else to sign off on your guilt.